Ipod
by Piratesforever
Summary: Characters from POTC find futuristic items like ipods, cellphones, pizza and more! Requests for items are open, so suggest some technology, food, or anything else you might think of! Practically finished, random updates. Will probably re-write when I find the time.
1. ipod,speaker & noodles aka headphones

It didn't look like anything special. Just a little green thing with a brown square area at the top... I pushed the little thing that looked like a triangle, and put the noodle-like things up to my ears. SOUND! I heard sound! _Boom...boom boom...boom..._ Then I heard someone talking... _EH, EH, EH, EH!_ "What did you say?" I ask to anyone on deck. They all looked at me like I had grown a second head. Annamaria just shakes her head and laughs. "Speak up next time if you have something to say!!" I yell at them. I turn around and look back down at my new sound making person talking thing. I hear someone talking again: _When the sun shines well shine together!!_ It was a person singing I realize. I think someones soul is trapped in this green thing, and they're singing to me! I drop it, but no ghoul or goblin comes out at me. So I pick it up again.

Now its someone else singing...Maybe theres 2 people in there? _Hello hello...I'm in a place called vertigo..._ I take one of the noodles and put it in front of my mouth: "WHAT?? Where are you???" I stare at the green thing...

"AHHHHHHH!" I yell and throw it to the ground. Gibbs comes up to me and looks to the green thing, to me, and back again. "Is something wrong captain?" I tell Gibbs about the green thing, and how it keeps talking to me... "I've heard an old myth about something called the eye poddimus." He explains. "Supposedly it grants the owner music, whenever they want it...may I?" He asks, motioning to the eye poddimus. "Sure!" I say with a small grin. If someones going to get their soul sucked out, it won't be mine.

Two hours later:

_Ting ting ting ting ting tinggggg!! Ting ting ting ting ting tinggggg!!_

_Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?_

_Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?_

_Don't cha? Don't cha?_

_Don't cha wish your girlfriend was wrong like me?_

_Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?_

_Don't cha? Don't cha?_

Jack was steering the ship, listening to the eye poddimus. Happy that only he could hear the music, and every crew member didn't even know. Except for Gibbs. He had something special, and no one else could have it. So what happened next surprised him. "Captain!!! Captain!!! I've found something!!" Jack grabbed the eye poddimus, which he now called ipod, and ran down to where Gibbs was. In the corner of the hold, Gibbs was holding a black box with metal parts sticking out of it. "try putting the ipod on here!" Jack set the ipod on the box, and took the noodles out. Yells of surprise and confusion came from Jack, followed by a annoyed sigh.Now he'd have to share his ipod with everyone else.Some of the crew came down to see what was happening. The music was playing OUT LOUD!

_I wanna take you away_

_Lets escape into the music_

_DJ let it play_

_I just can't refuse it_

_Like the way you do this_

_Keep on rockin' to it_

_Please don't stop the_

_Please don't stop the_

_Please don't stop the music_

Oh well. At least now he didn't have to keep putting those painful noodles back in his ears. "GIBBS! Get a chair from the spare cabin and bring the box up to the helm!" If he didn't play it, there might be a mutiny. So he turned it on at the back of the ship, rolled his finger around on the thing he discovered called "volume control" and everyone heard the music playing.

For a few hours the music was good. It wasn't the kind of music that people listened to now, which made people wonder who sang like that. "Is it from Singapore?" Ragetti asked Pintel. "I's wouldn't be thinkin tha since seein as is from Africa!" "No! i refuse to believe tha!" they kept on fighting about where the ipod came from, so Jack went over to the ipod, trying to find a calming song, but the music stopped as soon as he reached it. "What happened?" he said to no one in particular. He clicked the triangle button, and it lit up. "aha there we goo.. OH...never mind" the message on the screen was clear. "batteries dead please charge!" How were they supposed to charge it? "Gibbs!" "what is it captain?" "how do we charge the eye poddimus?" Gibbs stood in thought for a second... "I dunno" was his only answer. Jack dropped to his knees and pounded his fists on the deck. Gibbs ran away so he wouldn't hear the rest of the captains response. NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, no one ever spoke of the ipod ever again. Jack locked it up in his desk and never bothered to look at the green machine that had made him and his crew so happy. It carried on like this, not once was there any conversation about the green ipod. Up until they day they found a computer, and a white noodle in Port Royal.


	2. pizza, cheerleaders and gangsters

Make sure you review!

"Mercer!! Where is my tea?" Cutler beckett sat at his desk waiting for his tea and biscuits to come.

"I'm sorry sir but we are all out of tea bags. I know you wouldn't want to wait, so I brought you...um..this, instead..." Cutler peered at the triangular shape on the plate, The grease seeping out of the pizza and off the sides of the plate in little dropletts. "what is...it?" "the chef said it was something called Pete sa" "pete sa, you say?" "yes, sir." "oh." Mercer set the pizza down on lord Beckett's desk, and took a few steps back, waiting for his master to taste the new delicacy. He picked up the squishy orange white and red mess with a look of disgust on his face. He pulled it closer to his face, opening his mouth in a little O shape, and took a small niblet off the tip. "my word, this is excuisit!!!I NEED more!" "yes sir!" Mercer replied, running to get more. He was happy that he did something right, and that he wasn't going to get punished for not bringing tea.

Mercer was walking back to Beckett's office when someone opened a door next to him and pulled him in.

"Give me the pete sa" The voice said in a mysterious tone. "Why ever would I do that?" "Because I have something of more...value" The figure pulled something out of their coat. It was some Big 8 grape cola.Of course, Mercer didn't know what it was. "Take this to Lord Cutler Beckett, tell him it goes with the pete sa, and that the new pete sa is cooking." "What is it?" "Its..well...its called...POP"The voice didn't pronounce the word pop loud enough, and mercer heard wrong."its...poop, you say?" "NO its POP" "poop" "pop"

"So... your poop... for my pete sa???" "POP!!" "pop?" "indeed" Mercer and the mysterious figure shook hands and exchanged items. "What if I need more pop?" "If you get a thing called comp you ter from a certain pirate, you can order more on the line" "huh?" "ill explain later" The firgure pushes Mercer out the door."I wonder who that was..."

"here is a refreshment sir, the pete sa is on its way" Beckett began to sip his cola. "That is the most un-delecious thing I have ever tasted, and I once tasted dirt." "Dirt?" Mercer couldn't help his curiosity.

"Another story, but I don't have the time." "Oh" "Hurry! Get my pete sa! Oh, and some more of this...but a different flavour...would be...nice..." Mercer left the room, in search of some new pop and pete sa, when he bumped into Norrington. "Yo watchit where u walkin' homebro, I don't bend dat way. U trippin?"

Mercer oculd only stand there and... look at him. "Fo sheezy! That pizza was of da hook homeslice!"

Norrington just relized that he revealed his identity as the one who took the pete sa._Lets hope he doesn't notice!_ "You! Your the one that gave me the poop! You stole my masters pete sa!!" "No, I am **not** the one who stole it. I _bargained_ for it..." "Oh, its on" "Bring it!"

Norrington and Mercer were having a cheerleading competition right there in the hallway.

"GO GO GO GO GO GO GO AWWWWWWWW GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GOOO PETE SAAAAAA" Mercer did a flip. "My can of pop brings the boss to the yard, and hes like, you wanna play cards? Yeah right, I wanna play cards, ill play this, but not my queen of hearts." Norrington did 2 flips and landed infront of Mercer. "BAM!" Beckett walked out in the hall. "What is going on out here?" "uhhh...nothing sir..."Mercer tried to cover it up that he lost the competition. "oh, nothing...I just beat your homee in a cheerleader contest...is all..." "ah...I see.." "indeed" "Bring me 25 pete sa's or your going to be hung!" Beckett wanted his pizza now, and he wasn't going to wait.

So for the rest of the week, Mercer and Norrington had to take turns serving Beckett his pizza and dirt flavored 'grape' pop.

Beckett had gotten sooo fat from all the pizza. He now looked like the pig he really is. And they all lived happily ever after...except Norrington didn't explain the comp you ter to Mercer yet. "maybe I shouldn't...Maybe I should be the one to get more pop for Lord Cutler so I can become of a higher status..." Norrington was talking to himself. His plan began to form..."HA HA HA HA..." He laughed an evil laugh.

Please Review so I can add the next chapter :)


	3. Blades of glory,txt msgs,phone killers!

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**Review please!**

"Sooo...What is it???" "its my double flip" 'alright..." Elizabeth was explaining to Will what her new cell phone could do. "Its _super_ cool. It can call people from almost anywhere" "Yes, but what does..._call_ mean?" "Well basically it lets you...talk to someone else who also has a phone..."

"how?" "Well, I don't rightly know. Something to do with towers???" "I see.." "lets call someone" "Who else would have a cell phone Elizabeth?" "shh its ringing" "whats ringing? I don't hear anything" "shut up!"

"uhh..Hello?"Elizabeth was making her first phone call. "What? OH..um... Do you fear death?"

"Is this a joke?" Who asks something like that to someone over a phone? Its like...phone murder!

"ummm...I said do you...fear death?" it didn't sound like Jones...at all. It sounded like...who is that person with the...voice that...stops every few seconds? Elizabeth covers the phone and looks at Will.Wait..wheres will? "OMG THIS IS SOOO LIKE WHEN A STRANGER CALLS! WILLLLL!!!!!!! WILLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WILL WHERE ARE YOU!???!?!!!?!?" the voice on the phone continues... "hes...not coming...back... ever..." "and why not?" Lizzie didn't like being tricked. The voice on the phone exhales heavy breaths. "huuuuuu...huuuuuuuuuuu...huuuuuuuuu...huuuu..." "You better stop that, right this instant!"

"Relax... It's just a joke..." "okay then, funny man, come out come out wherever you are!!"

Elizabeth gets up and walks around her bedroom. She walks in front of the closet, opens it up and sees nothing but dresses and corsets. "ugh" she says to the person on the phone and to herself.

She continues walking. "you not under the bed..." "Getting warmer..." She walks to the window and looks out... "nothing here" she sits on the bed and gives up... "god. This is so not funny" "You look nice...today...Your dress would be better in red...blood...your blood..."

"hmm...really?" Elizabeth gets up and looks at herself in her mirror. She studies her dress. She takes a step back...and Screams a high pitch scream of death that would put a dying goat to shame! She can see wills head with a knife sticking out of it through her mirror.

"Whyyyyyyy" she cries into the phone. "Don't you...see? This is...the only...way we can...be...together..." "ugh no I don't want to be with someone who killed my love.Will..."

" I am...not...the one who...killed...Bill..—"Its Will! IDIOT!" "whatever! .I was...the one who...ordered...someone...to kill him..." "same diff" "uh god you make it so hard to be scary! I'm trying to get a date in a freaky kind of mysterious but not really way here!!! You didn't have to be so mean!" "Just tell me what I did wrong!"

"uhh...I just did" "no, you didn't!" BEEP BEEP BEEP "sorry, i've got someone on the other line." BEEP "Elizabeth?" "Will?" "yes" "OH thank god theres some stupid idiot trying to get a date with me and he won't leave me alone. How did you get a phone?" "Sea turtles,mate."

"you don't make any sense..." BEEP "hold on a sec I've got a text message from someone.

BEEP:

Hey Lizzie. I heard you and will got...oh i dunno...I'm just bored...The eye poddimus is charging and I have nothing to do...txt it back –CJS

Liz's Answer: I'm kinda busy right now...Some idiot is trying to scare me. Its sorta working, but kinda not..any ideas? –ES

BEEP(back to the phone call) "Okay, talk" The guy is crying... "I... just wanted one date..." "Oh come on I know the head isn't real...Wills talking to me right now so give it up." "whaaaaaaa" (BEEP) "BRB someone is talking to me on the other line...

"hello?" "Elizabeth?" "Will?" "no, this is your father." "oh...I'm kinda busy right now" "this is important" "okay, Speak" "Are you sure you don't want to marry Norrington?" "Is that who is talking to me on the other line, asking me for a date?" "I don't know." "oh...if it is tell him to stop" "okay. Bye bye" "bye"

Beep(txt msg) I bet its Beckett. Hes an idiot. If hes crying Its probably him. Tell him to meet me at the docks, at midnight -CJS

Beep(txt answer) okay...? –ES

Beep(phone call with will) "hello?" "Its me, will" "I love you will" "okay, me too. But I have to go. I just found this cool thing called pete sa." "tell me about it. Had one last week" "bye" "bye"

Beep(phone call with the guy) "waaaaaaahhh" "HOLY MOTHER SHUT YOUR TRAP!" the person on the phone whimpers, but stops crying. "NOW... Is this Lord Beckett or Admiral Norrington?" "ummm"

"your saying you don't know who you are?" "no, I know who I am..." "alrighty then..."

"its me... Norrington" "ugh...I knew it.And no, I don't want to date you.I bet you were going to propose to-BEEP "uhh, one sec"

(txt message)So? Who is it? TELL ME! I'm dying of boredom out here. PS, I really like this thing you call "lingo" its so easy! –CJS

(txt answer) Really? Yes, Will seems to have picked up the lingo to. He said cool to me today. By the way, its actually Norrington on the phone.–ES

BEEP

(phone call with Norrie)"What do you want?" Norrington pulled himself together and began talking. "I was wondering if you would like to have some pete sa with me?" "no, I wouldn't"

"oh." "oh" "well, how about we watch blades of glory together?" "as long as I can invite Will and Jack." "FINE. But you and me sit together" "ugh. Fine, but if you touch me...ill KILL you" "umm, I promise, no touching" "GOOD BYE" "bye..."

GOD that man is awful!

(txt to will and jack) Hey guys we're invited to Norrington's for a movie marathon tomorrow. Were watching movies. (duh) So, txt back. PS, Will where are you?

(Txt answer From Jack) As long as he doesn't touch me!

(Txt answer From Will) I'm in the next room...PS your sitting with me okay? In the back.

(Txt to will) Norrington told me I had to sit with him in the front.

(txt From Will) Let's ditch then. Norrington and Jack will have a nice marathon together

(txt to will) Ok.

"Sooo...Norrington...Catch any pirates lately?" "Oh shut up!"

**Press the review button you know you want to!**

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	4. this isn't really a chapter

I just want to know if anyone wants to make a request.

What item should someone discover next?

Who should discover it?

Please write a review with the name of the character(s) and the item(s) and i'll write a new chapter :) I already have some in mind, but I want to know your opinions too.


	5. The steal!

**Sorry that this one is so short. Report cards and stuff. But the next one will be more funny and longer. Make sure you review!**

_I'm sure its just a joke...this couldn't possibly be happening!Oh lord it is...! _He was pacing his office, not really sure what to do with his new found magical circle._ Well, I can use it to my advantage and know where everyone is...all...the..time...??Not all the time? Once upon a time?WHAT THE DEVIL IS ONCE UPON A TIME? _He started to sweat, and began to have a panic attack._What if someone finds it??_

"Here is your poop, sir." Said Mercer,appearing in the doorway. "AH! Oh...hmm...pop..you mean." Cutler replied, trying to hide the surprise in his(no longer whispery...more like really hard to talk to you because I'm using all my energy to breathe because I'm too gi-normous) voice. _You sneaked up on me..Mr.Sneaky sneak sneak pants..._

"I'll.. keep...for..further.. reference... he mumbled to himself, frantically cramming the brand new copy of pirates:curse of the black pearl in between some books on his book shelf, swearing when it wouldn't fit. Beckett came to a sad realization. _Curse theses fat fingers!I can't even put on gloves... _Mercer noticed him putting something on his shelf and decided to investigate later on in the evening,when Beckett went to his yoga class. _Man, he has gotten sooo fat... _Mercer thought on his way out.

"I will return" Cutler announced as he grabbed his yoga mat and made his way out of his office. "Yes sir." Mercer replied, watching his master head off to yoga class. "bloody pilates"Cutler mumbled as he passed.Mercer listened until he couldn't hear any CLOMPS that were Beckett's heavy footsteps.He ran towards the the shelf. "aha, here you are my pretty little...wait...what are you?"

"A thief" Someone said from the door.

Mercer turned just in time to see someone slip behind a chair. "I seeeee you" The person behind the chair taunted. "Oh, yeah, like hiding behind a chair is actually going to work."

"I'm not behind a chair..." "OHHH REALLY????"

He walked over to the chair and kicked it. But nothing was behind. "BOO" "EEEEK!" Mercer dropped the DVD and turned around. Nothing. He looked down and saw Jack with the DVD in his hands trying to crawl away. "What?" Asked Jack, like as though finding a crawling pirate in a high class office was normal. "uhh, nothing." Mercer replied.

"I'm gonna go" "Hand it over"

"whyyy?" "because I said so" "But whyyyyyy?" "It is my duty to ensure you don't get away with that" "WHYYYY???????" "well.. BECAUSE!" "But you were trying to get away with it, if I'm not mistaken..." "That is none of your business!" "SO LONG SUCKER!" Jack jumped out the window and ran with the DVD. "I'll get you Jack Sparrow!" A faint cry was heard off in the distance: "IT'S CAPTAIN!"

**Thanks to the anon person going by **_**pirates fan**_** for this hilarious idea! YAY! **

**The next chapter will continue where this left off. And it will be longer. With more new stuff too. Promise! Review Please! Ill write a new chapter if I get 2 more reviews!**


	6. Chapter 6! The chapter of emus!

**I'm soooo sorry you guys…My computer has a virus and hasn't been able to go online forever! Its still not working, I'm on a different computer right now. I'm so sorry. I know this doesn't really make up for it, I still need to write a lot more, but I thought I should put something up. **

**Review! And don't forget to suggest items!**

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It was about 4:00 in the morning and Captain Jack Sparrow could not to sleep. He searched for rum. No rum on/in the desk, none on the floor, no flask in his coat pockets. _Logically, the only place where more rum would be, is…uhhh….. _he thought. He couldn't locate the storage, where his precious rum was waiting…. Waiting?

He stumbled his way down the stairs and tripped at the bottom. His face landed in a bucket.

"Dammit!" the bucket was 'air tight' and provided excellent suction against Jacks face. He was absolutely stuck. "Help! I can't breath!" he panicked and ran around like a turkey with its head cut off. "Help! It's like the kraken….! "With….. It's…AHHH!" "Little sucky thingies!!!" "Ahhh!" until he hit the wall. "Oouf!"_at least the bucket came off. _Keep in mind he is drunk right now!

He got up and turned to unlock the storage room door. He slinked in very slinky-ly-ish and walked to the back of the room. Scanning the shelves he noticed something out of place. Something Was VERY out of place. He bent down and saw a very fuzzy light brown boot.

_Interesting_he thought. "Maybe I should try them on??" (EMU boots. Very comfy! Check on google images if you don't know what I mean) He grabbed the boots and sat on the stairs.  
Carefully, he took off his old boots "eek! The air is cold!" and slid on the new emu boots.

"Oh my those feel wonderful!!" He walked back and forth a couple of times, wiggling his toes on the soft emu material. _These are mine now_! (Girls at my school wear them ALL the time, including me! But only girls…no guys…so this probably looks very weird!) He even hopped a couple times. Walking back up to his cabin, without more rum, he walked over to his desk.  
He picked up his Captains log and a quill and began to write.

Dear Log,

Today I found a nice new pair of boots. Emu apparently! They feel very nice. And I think they add to my manly attire! I look more masculine then ever!

Unfortunately , that was all he could write before he collapsed from the alcohol.

The next morning, Captain Jack sparrow woke up with a surprise. "Why the devil am I on the floor?" He stood up and stretched, and realized how much his head was hurting. "Oh…that's why!" He waltzed out the door like he owned the place (he does own the place) and grabbed the wheel. It was then he noticed everyone was staring at him. Gibbs popped up out of nowhere like he always does and said… "Captain…your not yourself…" "Of course I am Mister Gibbs, I am Captain Jack Sparrow!" He said, watching Marty climb up to the crows nest. "Yes, but your boots are not, sir!" They both looked down.

_What wonderful boots! _Jack thought. _Fuzzy boots??? _Was all Gibbs could think. "Mister Gibbs I assure you that I am 100 percent myself this morning, including these absolutely wonderful boots I happen to be wearing, which are now mine, savvy?" "Uh…yes sir…" he said and walked away.

"Captain!!" Marty cried from the crows nest. "Aye" he called up. "I think I've found something you might like!" Jack waited patiently for the thing to be brought down. As it arrived, he looked at it strangely. "What...is it?" "I'm not exactly sure, sir" Marty replied.

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**Okay, well I know this wasn't my best chapter. I will make a better one this time! But I have to write it before Saturday because my computer is 'going' and I won't have it for a long while. Plz review! **


	7. EZ Bake Ovens!

**Okay, I'm totally procrastinating on my project…So here is this….**

**Another chapter of iPod, just for you! YAY you guys get to be my excuse to my parents! Ha…not really…. I have to get to work sooner or later…This chapter is definitely longer and (I think) better than the previous one. Enjoy! Don't forget to Review!!!**

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It was a white box with an opening panel and two little timers. Jack read out loud "E-Z Bake Oven….what on earth does _that_ mean?" Marty held up a little cord and said " I dunno, but it must have something to do with eeelectrriiicittyyy". "What the devil is eeelectrriiicittyyy?" "Not sure captain, read it in the manual." Marty held up a little white pamphlet with a picture of a small cake on the front. "I suppose we are to 'plooog it in to a soccer'" (Nice….Not being able to read….) "No your not sposed to do that!" cried Pintel, grabbing the tiny microwave oven. "You have to tie this white part to a piece of rope and light it…on fire!" Everyone just stared at him.

Finally after everyone was finished staring at Pintel, Captain Jack Sparrow came up with a_brilliant_ idea! "I say….we plug it into this thing here!" He pointed at an electrical socket that randomly appeared on the side of the ship. He walked over to it and stuck his pinky finger into the top left slot. "BUUZBZBBZBZBZBBZBZBZ" He was getting shocked. His dreadlocks looked spiky and white, and were flying around and whipping people, shocking them in the process, while he screamed like a girl and repeated "BUGGER!!!" "Pull your finger out sir!!!!" screamed Gibbs above the noise of everyone running around in panic.

When Captain Jack finally pulled his finger out, his dreadlocks were stuck out and wouldn't go down, his finger was obviously burned, His eyes were wide, and his skin was pale. "Mister Gibbs!" He slowly spoke, but couldn't finish as he fell over and curled into a ball, and started to…ball…No one touched the E-Z Bake for the rest of the day.

The next day they were going to move it into storage, but they crew was still curious as to what it did. Ragetti picked up the long white cord and walked up to the captain. "Captain?" Jack didn't see him and when he turned around and saw the E-Z Bake, well... things didn't go well. He grabbed the nearest thing (which was his bottle of rum) and smashed it on the oven. (Can you picture him standing there with a broken bottle growling at an oven?) "Grrrrrr….Get that away from me!" He said. "Aye sir! Just wanted to….test it…..is all" Ragetti put on his puppy face and turned slowly around, cord in hand, dragging the oven like a pet. "Common E-Z, lets go put you downstairs…."

"Ugh…Okay, okay, but YOU are the one plugging it in!" _I'm too pretty! _ He thought the last part. The whole crew stopped as they watched Ragetti inch up toward the plug. He tried to put it in one way, but it didn't fit. So he turned it around, and it just slid in! A light on the oven turned on and the machine just said "welcome!" in a computerized voice. Ragetti just stared, and said "You can talk?!?!?" "Quick! Someone get the manual!" said mister Gibbs. They found the box it came in and opened the manual.After carefully reading the instructions (which took 2 hours) they were beginning to make a cake. They had the tiny little cake plate, they had the little powder pouch thingy, and they had the attitude. "This cake is going to be sooo delicious!" They poured it into the pan and put it inside the oven. They twisted the timer and the light bulb came on.(yummy….light bulb food!)

After about twice the amount of time it would have taken for a normal oven, the timer rang. Excited, Ragetti ran over, flung open the door of the oven, and grabbed the pan with his hands. "OWW!!!" or course, it burned him."You told me it wouldn't hurt!" He yelled at the oven. The oven didn't respond, it just continued on with saying "Adult supervision is needed when your item is finished". "Well then tell me what adult supervision is, mister E-Z!" Ragetti was acting like a baby.

"Enough! Yelled Jack. He grabbed the oven, took a few steps back, and hurled it off the side of the ship.

"All in favor of making a real supper say aye!" Captain yelled. He hated that machine!

"AYE!" everyone on the ship yelled. "Ayesh" Ragetti yelled. (He had his thumb in his mouth.)

The oven sank slowly to the bottom of the ocean…..and sat there for 2 years….Until someone found it!!! (dun dun dun)

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**If you hate E-Z bake ovens as much as I do, then review. Oh, and Review because it will motivate me to write more! And any advice on my project lol? Joking….Ill get to work….hopefully….Review!**


	8. Microwave, Britney Spears, Barf!

**Okay, it's been a long time. But this is really just a chapter to let you know I'm back. It's also not my best chapter, but I'm only rusty because I haven't been on for a while. Its hard keeping a secret, you know! (If you don't know my secret, look at my profile. It's all explained.)**

**Reviews are awfully nice, but I'm not forcing anyone!**

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"What is it doing?"

Asked Elizabeth, staring at the new item her father ordered from London. It was a silver box with a little dotty square on front, and a lot of buttons with words on them. It was a microwave, and it was going with nothing in it.

"Should we stop it?" Asked governor Swann.

"I think we should put something in it".

Elizabeth ran over to the closet and pulled out an expensive looking shoe. She held it out to her father, who pressed multiple buttons on the microwave before getting it to open.

When the door finally did pop open, he set the shoe inside.

"Why only one shoe, dear?" He asked Elizabeth.

"Oh…right. No use putting only one in! Let's put the pair in."

She ran back and got the second shoe, and placed it in the microwave, right next to its partner. They closed to the door and press the buttons with numbers on the.

50:00

The machine beeped and the light came on. They pressed their faces up against the glass (which is really bad, it causes cancer) and stared in awe at the rotating pair of shoes.

"Maybe it is meant to display you most prized possessions, for a certain amount of time?" suggested Lizzie's father.

"I agree. Let's take these shoes out and put something more valuable in!"

They grabbed the shoes, but they were really hot and they both burned their fingers.

"Get that machine out of here!" roared the governor.

A servant came in and got the microwave, promptly walked to the front door and for the governor to see, tossed it out on the street, where it rammed right into the head of Will Turner. He was knocked unconscious for like the millionth time since we first saw him.

"Will!" Elizabeth screeched, and ran out to see him.

She tripped over the microwave and landed inches from wills face. _He has a booger!_ She thought. She started to pick it out with her fingers when the governor came out, and she stopped. Unfortunately, when he was trying to move the microwave out of the way, he dropped it on his toe, and fell backwards onto Will's stomach, causing him to barf up into Elizabeth's face, who barfed right back at him.

"You wanna go?!" asked will?

"Do you wanna a piece of me?" asked Elizabeth.

"Well…it would be rather nice." Said will.

"Okay" said Liz, standing up.

She started singing the popular Brittney Spears song, 'Piece of me'.

In a squeaky and crackly voice she sang:

"I'm Miss American Dream since I was 17  
Don't matter if I step on the scene  
Or sneak away to the Philippines  
They're still gonna put pictures of my derriere in the magazine  
You want a piece of me?  
You want a piece of me..."

"I'm Miss bad media karma  
another day another drama  
Guess I can't see the harm  
in working and being a mama  
and with a kid on my arm  
I'm still an exceptional earner  
And you want a piece of me"

"That's NOT WHAT I MEANT!!" Said Will, the whole time she was singing. He got bored and pulled out his double flip.

(Txt to Jack) Elizabeth is singing again. -Will

(Txt to will) Oh no. Tell her to put a sock in it for me, aye? –CJS

(Txt to Jack) Fine. -Will

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**I know this stunk, but I'm still open for reviews! You can also keep suggesting new items for the characters to find. I promise the next one will be better! (Really…) **


	9. Hockey, GPS, Mopeds!

**As you all know, I don't own any of these characters, even though I wish I did.**

**Hello again, everyone! This next chapter involves one of my favorite sports to watch.**

**I don't play it, even though I wish I did…I also don't own any of these gadgets, but I sure do want one!**

**Let's begin, shall we?**

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It was vacation time in the Caribbean and (most of) the cast from the Pirates movie were taking a little trip away from home. If you live in a warm place, why not vacation in a cold place? So everyone got their mittens, coats and boots, and hopped on to their BRAND SPANKIN' NEW mopeds.

"Off to some cold place!" said Will.

"He is so….stupid" murmured Jack.

They followed Davy's GPS until they reached a frozen place. Everyone shivered as they parked their mopeds and grabbed their hockey sticks.

Jack was mumbling "That Davy and his bloody Global Positioning System! My compass works fine too, you know! No wonder he pops up right next to my ship no matter where I am…bloody stalker."

Beckett, Norrington, Mercer and Gilette stood at one end of the frozen pond, while Will, Jack, Elizabeth and Davy Jones stood at the other.

IT WAS HOCKEY TIME BABY!!

They put on their skates and tied up their laces, all showing off their game faces. This was serious business! Each team huddled.

Team 1: The Purple Flying Gnomes

(Beckett, Norrington, Mercer, Gilette.)

"I say I play goalie, Norrington and the rest of you…Just play…" said Beckett, breathing heavily. Having immense trouble even walking from all of his fatness, Beckett would prefer not being active, and sitting in front of a net was perfect.

"Fine. You will block everything with that belly of yours." said Norrington with a smirk.

Beckett ignored him and waddled away to the net.

Team 2: The Fluffy-Whip Short Shorts

(Jack, Will, Elizabeth, Davy.)

"I nominate-uh myself-uh as captain!" said Davy.

"I nominate myself as captain!" said Will.

"Why didn't you tell me you were planning this?" asked a hurt Elizabeth.

"It wasn't your burden to bare." said Will simply.

"Have I heard this before?" asked Jack to no one in particular.

"Elizabeth Swann." said Lizzie, un-enthusiastically.

Jack spoke up again. "Elizabeth Swann" He grinned.

Everyone just glared at him.

"What?"

"Never mind. LET'S DO THIS!" yelled Will.

So lame.

They put their hands in and cheered. Davy skated to the net.

Jack was center, Will and Liz at the wings.

Norrington was center, with Mercer and Gilette on the wings.

The puck dropped and WHACK! Norrington punched Jack right in the face. He fell to the ice with a broken nose. Blood was everywhere. Beckett barfed into his mask. It splashed back at him. Norry advanced and in one quick movement, pulled the puck along with him.

"Take 'im nound!" ordered Jack in a nasally voice. Elizabeth pushed forward.

"Elizabeth…" whispered Norrington…He coasted to a stop.

"Whoop!" said Liz, as she swiped the puck away from him. She skated up the pond as quickly as she could. At the same time, Davy came out of the net and up to Will. He gave him a great big LICKING.

"I'm on your team!!" screeched a startled and embarrassed Will.

"I know…" Said Davy.

"I'm not in the mood!" said a snippy Will.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth was dodging Mercer and Gilette, and was about to sock the puck at Becketts stomach, but he fell through the ice! She scored in the empty net.

"RATS!!" she exclaimed.

"What are you bloody well talking about!? You just won the game for us!" said Jack, as he cracked his nose back in to place.

"I was aiming for _him_ though!" she whimpered.

Mercer and Gilette and Norrington skated towards the GINORMOUS gaping hole and tried to get Beckett out. They couldn't though, because he was stuck at the bottom. He was too heavy to float, and not strong enough to swim.

"So much for vacation…" said Will.

"I'm actually enjoying it." said Davy, winking at Will.

He shuddered.

Mercer and Gilette stared with their mouths gaping.

Sooner or later, everyone got bored of standing around so they jumped on their mopeds and drove home, happily ever after.

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**Hope you liked it! Should I continue writing?**


	10. Jaws, Sylvia, Disturbia?

**Hello everyone! Just to let you know, my keyboard isn't working very well, so if you see any weird things let me know and I will try to fix them. Thanks for all the reviews, and I would like to ask one question. Would you like me to reply to reviews??**

**I don't own POTC, or any charcters, I just like making them do weird stuff.**

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"Its bad luck, I tell ya!" Said Gibbs, for about the millionth time.

"I know…." Said Captain Jack Sparrow, staring distractedly at the screen.

Gibbs was taken aback by his reply. When Gibbs referred to bad luck and superstitions,

they never agreed.

They had found another disc, but this one had a shark on it, and the words 'JAWS'

imprinted in big red letters. Jack had decided to put it into the computer.

The crew gathered around as words began to scroll across the screen.

The pirates stared in awe as peoples names appeared in blue lettering, and it showed an underwater scene. There were shipwrecks, and scraps of junk, and very very very slimy thingies.

The first event to happen in this magical moving picture was for a person to be mauled by a shark. Everyone winced. They've seen sharks before, but never have they seen one attacking someone. And _this _was only the first attack.

The monstrous great white did a double-take and spotted a little boy floating on a life-preserver. It propelled forward. Jack and Gibbs lunged forward in the seats, screaming at the little boy to get out of the water…

"Mothers love, child! Get your arse out of there!"

"Son, you better mosey on out of that water, or you're going to be fish food!"

The music started in that creepy way,

DUN NUH…….DUN NUH, DUN NUH

Gibbs and Jack were screaming. In all the panic, right before the boy had a chunk taken out of him, Ragetti ran up to the computer, picked it up with a death grip, and smashed it 3 times on the

side of the ship. Everyone stared at him with a relieved smirk…But then, they all realized something…

"That was the only thing able to charge the eyepoddimus!" A collective group of pirates not shown in the movie said.

"Aye, that be true…" Said Gibbs, with a long sigh.

Everyone turned and glared at Ragetti.

"Sorry…" Was all he said.

When everyone turned away, Pintel had a talk with Ragetti. "Look on the bright side!" said Pintel gruffly, "You saved that boy's life!"

Ragetti gave a lopsided grin. "That was nothin'!" he replied, as happy as can be.

"I need rum!" exclaimed Jack, as he walked away, giving a long sad glance at the shattered computer.

On the way down, he though the might as well use up the last bit of iPod battery life.

He turned it on and pressed play. So far, his favorite person on this was a woman by the name of Rihanna. Recently, a large mix of songs had appeared on the music list, and the newest one from her was called "Diturbia". It was wonderful.

It got Jack in the mood to party. He started doing wild dance routines, some including belly dancing!

He began to get full of himself.

"Oh yeah…Oh yeah…It's my birthday….its my birthday…" he chanted, while doing a strange version of the moonwalk with a combination of the waltz.

In the middle of a belly dancing move, Sylvia the goat walked out of nowhere and leered at him with a loud, angry 'nahhhhhhhhhhhh'.

3 hours later, Jack emerged from the hold, a fresh rum bottle in hand, ipod at his side.

In his drunken state, Jack almost walked right off the ship. Gibbs stopped him in the nick of time.

"Hey pretty….lady…how do you-HICCUP…." He looked around confusedly and then announced

"I forgot…what I was saying."

Just then, a big black box appeared in front of them. They inspected it.

"SANYOOOOOO" squawked Jack.

Gibbs didn't say a word.

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**Don't forget to review, and answer my question. Do you want me to answer to reviews? Oh, and you can suggest any new items whenever you want.**

**Ps, I know this chapter wasn't maybe as fun as some others, but I would like to view it as a filler chapter, or possible an appetizer before the big meal that is a good full chapter. Haha. And if you don't know what Sanyo is, just wait and see.**


	11. Sanyo, Dancing Dinosaurs, Neon Tights!

**I'm so sorry! I haven't updated since 2008! Mothers love! I feel so bad. But.... For Christmas I got an iPod touch! Which in case you didn't know, allows me to write on the go with the "note" feature. Then, I can email it to myself with the "mail" feature, so I can edit and publish from the computer! Neat, huh? Anyways...I hope you enjoy this chapter, I'm trying to make it a long one. Oh, and by the way, I'm in the process of writing other stories. So the updating process is slow, but I will definitely update Ipod more often now. Truthfully, I kinda forgot about it. Sorry. And now, something special. If you have read this far into my message, send me a pm and I'll write you a one-shot, aye? Maybe about you and a certain pirate captain? Or maybe you fancy Scruffington? Ha ha. Oh! And I just realized I've been leaving out my disclaimers! So, without further adue...**

**I do not own any of the characters, Disney does. I don't own any 'futuristic' items either, they belong to their respective companies. In other words, I own nothing. Enjoy!**

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_Recap:_

_"Hey pretty lady.......How do you"-HICCUP_

_Jack looked around confusedly and then announced "I forgot what I was saying."_

_Just then, a big black box appeared in front of them._

_"SANYO!" squaked Jack._

_Gibbs didn't say a word._

_

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_

They both stared at the big black box with nothing to say until Ragetti walked up to it, gave it a wondering look, bent down, and pressed the on button.

"Nothing happened!" exclaimed Gibbs, flabbergasted.

Jack quickly sobered up and knelt behind the box. In the back, a cord similar to that of the easy bake oven stuck out. He picked it up and cradled it, just like a little baby, cooing and making gurgling noises at it. Gibbs and Ragetti watched on, portraying satisfied grandparent looks, until they realized that in fact, there was no real baby. Jack snapped out of his trance as well, and wiped away the drool that had appeared on the corners of his mouth.

He held the cord out to Ragetti, it hanging from his index finger lamely. Jack looked at it before narrowing his eyes. "The writer says your lame." His eyes squinted more, practically closed, and he began trembling. Not in fear, apparently, for his eyes were now twitching repeatedly, while he sported a maniacal grin.

"Breakdown, clean up on aisle seven." stated Will Turner, who was now on the black pearl for reasons unknown. He strutted by with his fancy cell phone in hand, dazzling Gibbs and Ragetti, who stared at will with starstruck eyes. That dazzling Will Turner, always the be-dazzler, dazzling the un-dazzled with his dazzling lingo!

"Whelp." muttered Jack, who was now fine and making his way to the socket previously used for the mini oven. He hesitated for a moment, before he quickly shoved the plug into the socket. No sparks this time. Ragetti now re-tried the power button.

A feminen voice blared out of the box. All pirates yelped and stopped what they were doing to look at the black box. It had a large screen showing women in neon tights doing aerobics. Jack became immeadiately interested.

"Mine! It's mine!" he exclaimed, hugging the Sanyo to his chest tightly. The crew stared in awe, jaws dropped, and weaker pansies fainted.

Jack hugged the Sanyo tighter, his thigh pressing against the channel button. The channel flicked to a different one, one showing cakes, doughnuts, chocolates, ice cream, smoothies and Popsicles, pies, cookies, sweets, and caramels. Jack set down the Sanyo carefully, drooling at the sight. It would be a lie to say that all the pirates on the black pearl did not want these things. In fact, growling stomachs could be heard in each direction.

Jack dumbly stuck his hand out to try and grab some of the food, but of course, it made a dull thunk as his hand hit the screen. Again and again.....and again and again and again, again,again,again and once more he tried, but still did not succeed.

Angry, he picked it up again to throw it off the edge. But, again the channel changed to show a purple dinosaur dancing about surrounded by little children. A jolly voice came out of the speakers now.

"Well hiya there kids, my name is..."

"Barney!" exclaimed the kids cheerfully, as Barney began to sing and dance about the alphabet.

Some more pirates came to watch the dinosaur sing, as Jack stood with the TV in his arms, struggling to hold it still for the illiterate pirates. Soon, the dinosaur began counting. Jack had enough. With an angry sigh, he dropped the Sanyo tithe ground. But instead, it hit his toe. Jack swore and tried unsuccessfully to get the big box off of him, but could not, and he was forced to sit there and learn his ABC's.

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**So, again, sorry about the length. Also, my spacing doesn't seem to be working. Item suggestions are still welcome. And would you like me to reply to reviews? Cause you know, I certainly would if you wanted them. Feedback in general is also lovely. A big thanks to my reviewers. Its nice to have people who appreciate my stories, you know? **


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